White Mocha Latte

I had just graduated from high school, summer of 2007. I had also just let go of my two-year relationship with one of my good friends from high school earlier that year. There were many reasons why I let him go. I looked at him as more of a friend than a boyfriend. We got along really well, but I knew it wasn’t the way love was supposed to feel; I felt as if it should feel more magical, make me do crazy things I thought I would never do. I wasn’t expecting to find someone, I thought I’d be single for a while, and then maybe one day, closer to marriage time, I’d find him.

It was common for people in my age group at that time to be drinking and partying. It wasn’t something I had quite experienced. So for the first time, I was going to do both at once. It was a Sunday night. Canada Day, to be exact. My friends and I headed to downtown Toronto to book a hotel for later that night.

We pulled up to a tall building that had a letter “S” on it; it stood for Sheraton, Sheraton Town Centre. We unpacked the few items we had brought and began to get ready. Drinks were being poured and everyone seemed to be having a great time. I went for my first drink – it was Smirnoff mixed with cranberry juice.

I was disgusted by the smell of it as I brought the glass closer to my face; my nose crinkled as an obvious sign that I wasn’t looking forward to taking in whatever was in the glass, but I did anyway. It was followed by a couple more drinks, until I felt a little wobbly. I think I was drunk for the first time, and I finally knew what it felt like.

I stepped out the hotel room and we were on our way to Metro nightclub.

As we approached the line up, there were many people lined up and being very loud, it wasn’t something I was used to seeing. It was now my turn to show my fake ID; I was eighteen years old at the time. I passed my ID to the bouncer and looked down, hoping he wouldn’t realize the girl in the ID looked nothing like me.

He didn’t.

He passed me 'my' ID and let me go in. I could hear the music pumping and see the lights flashing. It was a whole new world I had stepped into. The alcohol in my body made me want to move to the music, it was almost impossible to stand still. I was familiar with a lot of all of the songs that were being played so I sang along and moved. I was having a great time.

So this is what it’s all about? I thought to myself. This is clubbing, what everyone always talks about?

It didn’t seem all that exciting to me. It was fun but I wasn’t used to being in a place so crowded with intoxicated strangers. I kind of felt unsafe, but I tried to have as much fun as I could. I could feel my body loosening up and realized that I was clearly drunk.

I walked around, looking for my friends, meanwhile my eyes were glued on to one particular guy. I opened my eyes wider to take a better look at him. He was so pleasant to look at. He was of a medium build, with short spiky hair and fair skin. He was wearing a striped navy blue dress shirt, a silver chain around his neck, and a pair of sunglasses over his eyes.

Yes, sunglasses on inside a club.

Maybe his future is too bright? Hmm, What A guy.

Of course, the alcohol in my system gave me the courage to approach him.

It all happened so fast I didn’t have time to think of what to say or do, so I gently hit him with my fist and said, “You’re really cute.”

He just looked at me, laughed a little, and walked away.

What the hell did I just do? Why did I touch him? Whats wrong with me? Im so stupid.

That was all I was thinking to myself. For some strange reason when he walked away, I walked up after him and told him not to go. I have no idea what possessed me as I was a very shy person. He said he would come back and meet me in a few minutes or so. After walking around for a while longer, we bumped into each other again.

I asked him what his name was, he responded with “Kulwinder” – that’s what I heard, at least. We began having basic conversation and I began to realize that he is a lot like me, I even felt sober talking to him. It was so easy to talk to him and something told me I had to whip up anything I could say and continue to get to know him.

 

The first question I asked him was, “Tupac or Biggie?”

From there on we asked each other about other music artists that we liked, including Immortal Technique. I was quite impressed with his music taste, it was an added bonus. We sat down for a while and kept conversing. He pulled out his Motorola Razor phone and asked me what my number was; I grabbed his phone to type in my own number and saw a picture of an Elmo toy as his background (he claimed it was his nephews).

I called my number and closed his phone.

I dont know what it was about him but I felt so good around this man. Even having his arm on me gave me chills. What has this man done to me? I've only known him for about 25 minutes.

Eventually, I introduced him to my friends, and asked him and his friends to come back to our hotel to hang out with us. They said they would let us know. Me and my friends left and headed back to our hotel. I was so excited about meeting Kulwinder that I had a huge smile on my face on the walk back. As soon as we got into our room, I ran to check my phone to see if he had called more than once.

And he did!

I called back and he asked for the room number. I gave it and I hung up and jumped for joy. I told my friends that Kulwinder and his buddies were on their way over. We all quickly changed into our pajamas and washed our faces. Me and my friends went to the elevator and waited for them. We heard a loud noise in the elevator – it was the sound of a beer bottle that dropped and broke in the elevator – and of course... it was them!

When the door opened, there he was in a green and white Celtics jersey and jean shorts, looking cute as ever. We led them to our room and we all hung out and talked. Since the room was now crowded and it was difficult to talk to him, I asked Kulwinder if he wanted to go downstairs and walk around, and he agreed.

We left the room and went downstairs. I was wearing my purple Mickey Mouse t-shirt. Oh, how I wish I had brought a different shirt. We decided to explore the hotel since it was really big and had a lot of different things. Kulwinder had to use the restroom so we tried to look for a bathroom but couldn’t. We asked a maintenance worker where the washrooms were, and he showed us a narrow hallway that lead to a small washroom.

He went in, and came back out.

I dont know what it was about his presence but it made me feel so childlike. I wanted to be my weird self and not filter anything around him.

We were very tired by now because it was close to 4 am so we sat down on an orange couch right in front of a mini waterfall. We began asking each other questions and getting to know each other better. He asked me how old I was, and I told him I was 18 years old. He was 21.

Hmm, 3 years older than me.. That can`t be too bad.

He took off his earrings, handed them to me and layed down because he was really tired. He asked me to play with his hair. Normally, I wouldve thought it was an odd request.. considering I just met him but for some reason I just felt so comfortable with him. Like, I know him from another lifetime. I agreed and began stroking his hair.

Eventually, his friends came and they all were ready to head back home. I walked him to the exit and he was standing by his white rental Ford, ready to go. I gave him a hug and said goodbye, asking him if I would ever see him again.

“You’re too young for me,” he replied, and then he left.

I was a bit sad because within the hour or two that I was around him, I really enjoyed it. I wanted to get to know him better.

I kept his water bottle with me. I was sad to see him go but something told me it wouldn’t be the last time I saw him. Why would I keep this man`s water bottle? I'm not sure-- I think I sensed that he would be something special to me one day and this water bottle would represent the first time I ever met him.

I text messaged Kulwinder the next day to make sure he got home okay. From there on, we began texting each other a lot, about every single detail in our everyday lives. He lived about 40 minutes away from me. Every time my phone vibrated, I would expect it to be a message from him. I would wake up every morning with my eyes half-closed, searching for my phone all over my bed just to see if I had a missed called or a message received from him. I was consumed by this man, already.

We would talk on the phone every night until we fell asleep on the phone. We would talk about childhood stories, the events in our day, tv shows and we would even try to have freestyle battles over the phone. I sucked.

I remember I woke up one morning so excited to start my day. I was all smiles and bubbly. I was skipping around the house instead of walking, and talking so much even my mom was starting to question what it was that had her daughter feeling so uplifted. I got dressed later on that day and went off to work.

I blushed everytime I would see a message from him. His messages were always so sarcastic and witty. Oh, how I love his sense of humor. I always responded to his wit with clever responses myself.

At the time, I worked at an urban clothing store called XTC. I went to work that morning and did the usual – helping and cashing customers out. I remember the songs that came out that summer because our store always played the latest music. I hummed the beat to Shawty by Plies to myself as I was folding and putting away clothes. I felt my phone vibrate and went to go pick it up.

I took out my phone to see that it was my friend, Teresa, calling. I quickly picked up the phone to hear what she had to say. Teresa had asked me to come over to see her and maybe later on we would plan to go out to a local club called Body English. After work finished, I hurried home to change my clothes and go over to Teresa’s house.

When I arrived, I greeted her parents and ran up to Teresa’s room. I walked in and closed the door behind me. I sat down on the bed and told Teresa everything about Kulwinder and how excited I was to be talking to him. While she was putting on her make-up, she kept up with the questions about him.

“Why don’t you ask him to come to the club tonight?” she asked.

I don’t know why I didn’t think of it myself, but she was right. Why don’t I invite him?

So I did just that.

He told me he would definitely stop by. I was thrilled!

This would be the first time I would see Kulwinder after the night I met him.

Teresa and I arrived at the club and met up with a couple of our friends. We had a drink or two and danced for a bit. Less than halfway through the night, I got a phone call from Kulwinder; he said he was parked outside of the club in a white vehicle.

I was so nervous, I felt like I had to puke. I could feel the butterflies in my belly fluttering all around. I was ready to back down because I was feeling so nervous. I told my friends that I was leaving and began making my way out of the club towards the door.

What am I doing? I’m meeting up with a total stranger. I’ve never done this before. He could turn out to be a serial killer. You don’t even know him all that well.

It was all I could think as I approached the white vehicle.

The glare from the headlights of the car made it hard for me to see his face as I was walking, but I knew that meant he could see every inch of me clearly. I opened the door and sat inside. There he was, looking flawless just as I remembered him. He was wearing a white zip-up with the word Enyce written on his left upper side in colorful letters. It also seemed as if he had shaved recently, he looked very clean.

I reached over and gave him a quick hug. We made small talk and had a conversation going from the second I stepped into the car. It felt so easy, so natural. I wasn’t afraid anymore, I wasn’t nervous that I was in a car with a stranger. I felt safe.

I was wearing a bright blue cotton tube top with light blue jeans and white earrings. I also had two necklaces that looked like they were made out of plastic bags around my neck. I had gotten them when I entered the club. I took one off and put it around his neck. I guess I thought that would break the ice or something, I’m not too sure why I did it.

We drove around for a bit and ended up stopping at a park near his sister’s house. The CD that he had been playing was very soothing. It had most of my favorite slow songs on it. The track changed and One Day You’ll Be Mine by Usher came on.

Hmm, is he subliminally trying to tell me something? Am I seeing a soft side of this man?

Kulwinder began singing along with the song, it was very cute. I was impressed. While we were listening to the music, he took out his driver’s license to show me his picture. I looked below to the name and it said Robin Henry.

It didn’t make sense to me.

Who was Rob? I thought his name was Kulwinder? What the---

He looked at my puzzled face and began to laugh. He explained to me that his name was Rob but I heard wrong in the club and began calling him Kulwinder, he thought it was funny and decided not to correct me. He told me I could call him Rob because that’s what everyone called him. I didn’t question him, it made complete sense. For some weird reason, I trusted him already.

We carried on a conversation and got even closer. Eventually, I ended up right beside him near his seat. I lied down in his arms and listened to music. I could feel the warmth of his body and the scent of his skin, mm it was so sweet. He pulled me a little closer and asked me to listen to the words of a song that was playing. It was Sunshine by Lupe Fiasco. The words were sweet and seemed to go with our story about how we met. I looked up at his brown eyes and smiled. I knew we was trying to subliminally trying to tell me that he was beginning to have feelings for me. I felt as if I already had this man figured out. He was very mysterious and closed off but his actions and subliminal cues showed me that he cared for me a lot, already. I felt the same.

There was a feeling I would get every time I looked directly into his eyes.I was unable to keep eye contact for a long time. He knew it, I was too shy. I would turn around or look somewhere else. The feeling I would get looking into his eyes was almost magical. It was too intense and I couldn't handle it-- I just could not keep up a stare into his beautiful eyes. He looked down at me in his arms and came closer. Before I could even think of anything to say or process what was happening, he leaned in closer and kissed me.

His soft lips on my lips, it felt so right. I took in the scent of his body and it intensifed our first kiss. How does this man already consume me? His body was so warm, his lips were so smooth and the kiss was just perfect. I could hear Ashanti’s Rescue Me playing in the background. The moment was just so right. I took off my earrings and placed them down on the seat next to me and continued kissing him, it was just so much fun. The night went on with the exchange of many childhood stories and kisses. By the time the night had ended for us, I felt like I had only been with him for two minutes. Time just flew right by us.

I didn't want to leave this man, I just wanted to sit with him and talk to him for hours. The reason why I was so attracted to him was because he stimulated my mind, he was intelligent. I loved talking to him about anything and everything. The night ended and we parted our ways.

I went home that night and ofcourse- text him. Needless to say, I went to bed with the biggest grin and hugged myself from happiness. Ive never felt so happy in my life before. It was so simple but just perfect.

Days went by and we started to meet up more often. I had never drove on the highway but Rob lived so far away that if I wanted to see him, I would have to learn to drive on the highway.

"Ah, I dont think I can do it. Are there any inner streets I can take?" I asked

"No, just do it. I'll stay on the phone and guide you" He urged me.

He was sometimes kind of bossy, but I liked it for some odd reason. Its like he owned me and I was always willing to obey.

I proceeded towards the highway and anxiousley got onto the ramp. I drove and drove for what seemed like a thousand miles and finally made my way to him. I realized when I pulled up to this street to see him sitting on a basketball in his driveway, that it was so worth the drive!

I've drove on the highway for the first time! Thanks to this man.

God, hes so beautiful.

I stepped out of my car and made my way towards him. We spent the whole day together talking and getting to know eachother better. I felt at ease with this man and I couldnt understand how I felt this way so soon. I knew he felt the same so I wasn't too worried.

I remembered one day in particular, it was about 6 am when he called me and asked me to come over and take a morning nap with him.  I remember listening to Rendezvous by Craig David on my ride there, it became the song I always listened to on my way to see him. Eventually, I got to his place and we just layed in his bed and began to nap.

I opened my eyes to look up at this flawless man laying next to me, he looked like an innocent child while sleeping. I realized at that moment how much I was starting to care about this man, I wanted nothing to harm him. He appeared to be so rough, but I knew he had a big soft spot in him. I layed there for a few minutes and began observing his face and thinking to myself that I could fall for this man easily. More than anything else, I wanted nothing to harm him, I just wanted him to always be happy.

But why? I just met him. How did this happen so fast? Who cares..

I dismissed my thoughts, got closer to Robs body.. put my face in his neck, took in the scent of his body, closed my eyes and napped. It was so simple, so innocent. We just layed there sleeping together. I could lay there forever, I remember thinking.

We woke up from our quick nap and decided to get some coffee since it was early morning. We pulled up to the Second Cup café and ordered our drink – it was a white mocha latte. We took our coffee and sat outside on the patio and enjoyed the beautiful morning sun. We sat next to each other talking about everything.

It was the first time I felt like I was able to open up to someone who I had only known for a short period of time. Even though I was miles away from home, I felt right at home when I was with him. Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton came on while we were conversing; I stopped and asked Rob the story about the song and he explained it to me. I love this man's intelligence. His love for music and the fact that he analyzed lyrics like I do- just made me melt.

The way he looked at me when he told me stories…it did something to me. I’d never been so interested in a man’s life before. I’d never really cared too much to know a person inside out. There was something about him. The feeling he gave me. I just wanted to open up my heart to him and let everything out. I felt like I could be myself around him and I know he felt the same.

Watching him laugh and tell me stories about his childhood and family is what really touched me. I loved seeing him smile. I think it was safe to say that I was definitely falling for Rob; it just might’ve been the day I fell in love with him.